I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
