you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
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So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
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I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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