first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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