He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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