She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Randomize
