You were right. It hurts to walk today.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
