i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
