I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
