I need help removing her.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
It's official drugs can't kill me
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
