In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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