we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
