the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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