i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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