I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
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