roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
