some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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