I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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