she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize