Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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