Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
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