I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
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