Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
