dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
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