it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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