I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
This baby is an asshole
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
