im gay
i know
yea but for you.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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