trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
