you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
i think i just lost a toe
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize