is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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