He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
