woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
