eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
