do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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