I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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