I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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