What did we do last night that was yellow?
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Everything about him screamed your future.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
