Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
