You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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