youre lurking in front of me
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
there was a trapeze. enough said
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
