Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
