I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Randomize
