my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
