In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize
