last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize