In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
