It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
