I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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