i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
