So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
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