You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I just forgot I was standing up.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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