So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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