weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
