we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
