I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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