the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
