highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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