I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
