youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
i just google imaged poop.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
