I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
