i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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