Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
