K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
